Family Records

In the midst of all this family drama, it came to light that it would be a good idea to record Mom and Dad’s recipes. As much as we all don’t like to think about it, sooner or later they won’t be with us. We have to do all we can to keep the memories we have of them when they are gone. LH had requested we all send in any recipes that we collected from Mom and Dad and she would compile it in a book. I thought it would be a better idea if we just posted everything on a blog, like WordPress, but make it private and only available to family members. That way all of us can make contributions as well. It’s a fantastic idea to start making these records and I can’t wait until it’s up and running.

The Kindness of Strangers

It’s been so long since I’ve done any form of exercise and I fear that all the progress I made last year has been lost. I was so proud of myself for losing all that weight and decreasing my body fat %. I was at my fittest last year weighing in at about 125 lbs with a body fat % of 16-17%. It’s not the “thinnest” I’ve ever been in my life but it was certainly the strongest I’ve ever felt. I was able to lift 90 lbs regularly and was well on my way to doing my first ever pull-up. I had never felt so good in my life. I felt like I could do anything if I only put my mind to it.

So you can imagine my dismay when  near the end of last year I was forced to stop working out completely due to injuries, mounting stress and illness.

Interestingly, I had my physical this week and was pleasantly surprised that I did not gain as much weight as I thought I did. In actuality, I think I only gained no more than 5 lbs. However, knowing the things I do now by educating myself academically through school and online made me change my mind. A better way of gauging how “healthy” I am is not to focus on my weight but more with how my clothes fit. Unfortunately, they just don’t fit as well as they did before. I can only estimate that even though I may not have gained that much “weight”, I most likely lost a lot of muscle as I’ve found I am not as strong as I was before.

One site I’ve found useful, is a blog called HealthHabits. I’ve been following it for a while now and have found that the information has some practical exercises a serious and even novice athletes can incorporate in their training. It also contains information related to health, nutrition and even recipes.  I’ve always been interested in food as a child, most likely because of my upbringing (who wouldn’t if they had a Dad as a Chef?!) and ethnic background (Asians are notorious for their love of food). However, it wasn’t until last year that I became more and more intrigued with how the body performs optimally when it is fueled appropriately. This of course means eating healthier. Time and time and again I’ve found myself going back to this site. If not only to motivate myself to eat healthier or get back to exercising. Which brings me to the title of my post today. While I was waiting for my appointment at the doctor, I decided to “reach out” to the internet. I sent an email to the write of HealthHabits to ask him for any advice he could give for a cardio activity for someone in my predicament.

Not Exercising

Uncontrolled Asthma (smog, allergy, high stress)

Unemployed = No $$ for a gym

Limited Floor Space and Equipment

I honestly, only expected him to respond back with a quick one line answer. Never did I expect him to volunteer to write a couple of workouts for me. I’m hoping these will help me to get back on my feet. God knows, I really need it.  Still, it warms my heart to know that the world is not completely void of kindness. Not everyone is out to make a buck off people’s misery. This guy truly cares about making a change for the better in people’s Health. I have the tools; now it’s up to me to do the work.

A Melancholy Fall

Last month was difficult and stressful. Mom had to be rushed to the emergency room twice and the second time they finally admitted her into the hospital. We had all gotten two colds at the beginning of the month but Mom had taken longer to recover because she had heart complications. The first cold was normal with a slight fever. But the second cold was a particularly nasty one that included vomiting, diarrhea and lots of coughing. Even I, myself struggled with it. I was coughing so much that I was vomiting and could not hold down any food. My asthma was at it’s peak and I found I was leaning on my puffer a bit too much. In the end I went and saw my doctor. It was more to renew a prescription I had from before. However, after much “grilling” from my doctor she had decided to prescribe a different medication for me and instructed me to go back to see her in two weeks if things did not improve. She did not like how I was becoming reliant on the puffer I currently had since it is not being used for what it was originally intended for (prevention). I never got the new puffer because when I went to check the price I found it was at least $178!!! FOR ONE! As a person that is still unemployed, and has no medical benefits I just did not have enough money to even pay for it. I’ve found that once my stress level goes up, the severity of my asthma increases. I still had a bit of my other puffer left so I am using that. Tomorrow I will be seeing my doctor and we’ll see what happens. In the meantime, I’ve been trying to find other alternative ways of coping with my asthma. One thing I’ve found to help cope with my stress is a ginseng & royal jelly tonic I’ve been taking daily.
So far, it’s been helping. I’ve learned in school that ginseng is an adaptogen and helps the body to “adapt” to changes in the body. In particular, if your stress level is increased due to physical illness or mental stress.

One of the other things that happened in my life is that I broke up with AS. I had been thinking about it for a while now and we had actually talked about my uncertainty with the relationship. There were many signs and red flags for me. At the same time, there were also many positive aspects of the relationship that I had not experienced before. He really was the first person to ever accept me for who I am, faults and all. As with most relationships that end, the feelings were not mutual. I couldn’t have done it at a worse time… a few days before Halloween and just over a week ago before one of his good friend’s wedding. I felt horrible but I had to be true to myself.

A-ha – Crying In The Rain lyrics | LyricsMode.com
As well, I had so much stress in my life in the past few weeks that I could  not handle the added stress of a difficult relationship. Even though I told him that things were not well with my family he did not exactly respect my request for space. It didn’t help that he never met my parents either and be there physically for me. While I do appreciate all that he’s done for me, financially and emotionally my decision was based on something I was dwelling about for quite some time. I just did not feel we were compatible. He’s a great guy but I don’t think we really saw eye to eye with many things. I tried to be as honest with him as much as I could and told him we could still be friends. A good friend of mine told me that you will go through the motions of mourning the loss of him but in the end you will know that it was for the best for both of you. My head knows that but my heart doesn’t feel it. I miss him terribly. I don’t know if it was the emotional support he gave me that is making me feel this way. I’ve never felt like I could ever talk to anyone and just be myself around except him. I wonder and question myself if it was the right thing to do or if I’ve just made the biggest mistake in my life. I wonder if I will ever find someone again that will accept me for who I am. I’ve always felt that maybe I am better off alone and that it’s best that I be single since I have so much instability in my life. Perhaps I am destined to be alone forever. I used to think that I’ve always preferred that. But now I am not so sure…I find myself missing him more and more each day.

Changes and Doubts In Life

July 21st marked the last day of class for me and also was the start of my summer vacation. It’s been a long semester and the break was most appreciated. A few things have happened since I last wrote. First, I ended up cutting my paddling season short due to personal family reasons. I was very disappointed about it but the support from my team made the decision less painful. With my stress level at an all time high, it was the best decision.

On the last day of class, my Professional Speaker instructor left us with a poem. It was very appropo for me as I was starting to seriously have doubts about a lot of things. Whether this field is right for me and life in general. I decided to share this poem because I hope others will get the same out of it as I did.

Never Give Up!

One day I decided to quit…I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality…I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.  “God”, I said. “Can you give me one good reason not to quit?” His answer surprised me.

“Look around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo?”  “Yes”, I replied.

“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.” He said.

“In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit.” He said.

“Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant…But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.” He said to me.

“Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?”

“I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.”  “Don’t compare yourself to others.” He said. “The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both made the forest beautiful.”  “Your time will come”, God said to me.  “You will rise high.”

“How high should I rise?” I asked. “How high will the bamboo rise?” He asked in return. “As high as it can?” I questioned. “Yes.” He said, “Give me glory by rising as high as you can.” I left the forest and bring back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you. He will never give up on you.

Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both are essential to life!

Pickering Dragonboat Regatta 2009

This weekend, my team competed in the Pickering Dragonboat Regatta. There were a few moments in the morning where I thought we were going to have another rainy day of racing. However it quickly cleared up and in the end the day turned out to be beautiful. In fact, I ended up getting quite a bit burnt on my face. I had totally forgotten to put sunscreen on my face and never even realized I was getting burned until the end of the day when my BF mentioned to me that my face was all red.  It’s a good thing that I tan very easily. The next day the redness disappeared. Although, now my skin is feeling the after effects of a burn. UGH.

Our first race of the day was at 10:34 AM. Originally we had registered under the Sport Division. However, when our team got there they informed us we weren’t allowed to be in the Sport Division because we weren’t members of Dragonboat Canada. Apparently, those that are registered under Dragonboat Canada were the only ones allowed to race under Sport Division. It was a little amusing to see some of the other teams’ faces when they saw us being marshalled up to the races and wondering who was this team wearing lifejackets? (Sports Division were not allowed to wear life jackets while it was mandatory for teams in Recreation Division. Go figure.) The organizers allowed us to race against the Sports Division teams and then used our time to seed us accordingly in the Recreation Division. I didn’t race the first race and ended up drumming. Which was fine for me as I haven’t been feeling very well all season. The night before I barely slept and my coughing kept me up most of the night. I was a little nervous because I hadn’t sat on the drum very much before and I am always a little nervous as to what to say during a race. The drummer’s responsibility is to relay to the front of the boat what the Cox is saying as well as motivate the team during a race. We generally don’t do so well during our first race. However, we have always performed well when we know we have very stiff competition.

Looking at our results, I personally feel that we still have a lot of work to do if we want to perform well this season. In our second race, which was the semi-final, I was asked if I wanted to race in it or if I wanted to drum. There was some concern because of my “coughing”. Basically,  my asthma has not been the greatest and it’s probably been noted that I have missed a few practices already this early in the season. I told them that I haven’t been feeling well and if they want to put me on the drum I am fine with it. In fact, I wouldn’t be upset if I drummed all day. But if I had to choose which race to paddle in I’d rather paddle in the semi than in the final. In the end I didn’t paddle and drummed the entire time. As the day progressed it was noted that my drumming “skills” improved. They particularly liked it when I screamed during the final, “SHOW ME YOU WANT IT!” It was then that I heard the Roar from the engine room and felt that kick in the boat.

In the end, my team placed 2nd in the A Consolation Division or about 8th overall in the Recreation Division. I was generally happy because we beat the team I wanted to beat. Other than that, it was a beautiful day of racing. I just wished I was able to contribute to the team paddling wise. Although I do realize drumming is important in a race, it’s just not the same when you are not paddling . After a few days of thinking about my participation in this sport this year, I’ve concluded that I will probably be doing a lot of drumming. As well, it will be a sort of “rebuilding” year for me as I will need to do a lot of work in the gym to get back at the state I was in last year. Last year I was in such good shape. Sigh. The good news is that I think I may finally have found a gym that suits my needs. I’m hoping it works out and I’ll let all know about it. Hopefully by then, I’ll be able to track my athletic progress online.